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Sincerely, depression.Hi, its been a while.
im so happy i have more power over you, i can make you collapse in tears. im glad i can make you hate yourself, im glad im back. Controlling your feelings, your mind. Im glad i can make you crave 'happiness'. Im glad i make even the best events bad, horrible. So im all you think about. Im glad i can make you want to throw yourself infront of a car. Im glad i can make you feel alone, im glad i make you cry hysterically. Im glad i can do this to you, i have so much power over your whole life.
Selfharm.She weeps on the floor, a makeup smeared mess.
she scratches at her arms with her nails, full of stress.
she doesnt know why, but the pain is helping.
her brain is reacting to this method of coping.
she stops her tears, and scrathes more, till her arms are red and sore.
She comes in from school, its been a bad day.
she opens her drawer, and pulls out the scissors again,
she drags it across her wrist, again and again.
this isnt helping, as it did before.
She slams her door from the argument.
and grabs the sharp pin thats holds her skirt together.
she stabs it into her wrist, and pulls it across,
again and again she cannot stop.
till she sees blood flow, then she smiles.
relief washes over slowly, but it'll leave in an hour.
She walks in her room, grabs what shes craved all day.
a velvet box, full of razor blades.
she slides it on her skin, slitting instantly.
the blood flows as she sits, feeling dizzy.
She crys, and the razor is useless
she grabs a knife, and stabs it in,
dragging it up
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More